Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
