I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
