i don't like sucking hair
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
