Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Randomize
