He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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