we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
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