finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Send help, water and tortillas.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
