So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
