u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
