Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
