How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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