We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
