dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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