That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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