We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
