didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
