Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
