I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
two words: eviction party
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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