If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
