Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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