But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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