hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Can't talk, ducks in the car
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
