Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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