They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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