In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
