So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
