awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
