is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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