I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
