shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
