She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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