I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Randomize