loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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