I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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