My nipple is on Facebook.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
