Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
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