I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
