I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
