I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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