there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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