Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
