It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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