Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
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