i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
