He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
