so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
True strength comes from lack of pants
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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