How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
