big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Congratulations! We have a period
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
