I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
