Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
He better not be in your backpack
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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