I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
