There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize