she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
