I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
