And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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