You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
