Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
