Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
