I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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