At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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