she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
