I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
