Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
