im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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