whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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