he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I need moral support for this bender
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Randomize
