I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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