If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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