I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize