I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
