I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
