he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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