went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
This is the prime rib incident all over again
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
