btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
