Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
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