OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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