Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
