i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
