In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize