I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
