Heybabeimwearingurpanties
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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