JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
