She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
pray to the hookup gods
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize