There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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