Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
