1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
