Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
