My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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